Letter to R

Here is a letter I sent to R on this date.

Hi R,

I wanted to send you an email and see how you were doing, as I haven't seen or talked to you in so long.
I assume you've been really busy.. hopefully with music and stuff. I hope that you're having good success with your music. I haven't heard or seen much about your shows, but maybe I'm not looking in the right places.
How have things been going?
I hope you still think of me as a friend, regardless of me and W having broken up.
I'm glad that you invited me to Burning Man with you, and I wanted to thank you again.

I haven't been doing too good lately. Earlier this week I think I realized I must be suffering from depression. It was near the end of two days were I felt like I was physically unable to get out of bed for no apparent reason. It's difficult to live in this house, as I feel the oppressive weight of memories here.
Being rejected hurts a lot. I know it's easy to think I should just get over it, but it's hard to make myself actually feel it. Thoughts are easy, emotions are hard.
I think I may need to leave the penthouse, or perhaps even leave San Francisco. For a brief time, I was even contemplating checking out of life. It's weird... I'm fine when I'm around people or talking to them on the phone joking around, but it's when I'm alone that my moods spiral downward. I think I need counseling. Also, I'm avoiding all alcohol, as it seems to make my mood worse.

R, you are a very special and talented person and I want you to have all the best success in life.

E

BORG2

Here is a mass email I sent tonight to all my friends who have ever attended Burning Man:

BORG2: What is it and why am I excited about it?

Hi all,

Have you been disappointed by the lack of mind-blowing art at Burning Man the last couple of years? Wondering where all the art went? Questioning whether Burning Man has lost its focus on art?
I've recently gotten involved in a new Burning Man-related organization called BORG2, which is working to bring more and better art & performance to the playa at Burning Man 2005 through direct democracy.
http://www.borg2.org
http://www.borg2.org/FAQ.html#A2X1
Unlike the regular Burning Man organization, which is a large, unwieldy authoritarian bureaucracy, BORG2 is a smaller nimble single-issue democracy, comprised mostly of hundreds of artists themselves. BORG2 believes the Burning Man bureaucracy is a big part of the problem when it comes to art on the playa. The Burning Man LLC is a large for-profit corporation, which must focus on many things which have nothing to do with art: porta-potty contracts, land permits, theme camp placement, rules and regulations, etc... It's easy to see how art can get lost in the shuffle with so many other worries. BORG2 feels that the Burning Man organization is not putting enough focus on art and needs to radically change its processes for dealing with art.

What excites me about BORG2 is that not only is it promising to bring more and better art to the playa as well as bring back disgruntled artists, it is also small enough and ambitious enough so that the ordinary Burning Man attendee like myself can really help make an impact.
Also, at this point, BORG2 is a one-year experiment that does not desire to be a permanent organization. So it's a rare opportunity to get involved in something that will hopefully end up making big long-term changes at Burning Man.

At this very early stage, tentative talks are underway to give BORG2 the entire 2:00 slice of the city, which could become the BORG2 art zone at BM2005. Discussions are being hashed out on a possible art walk in the open playa past 2:00. Perhaps even a BORG2 Esplanade of like-minded villages and theme camps along 2:00. Other ideas include a BORG2 stage, with a focus on 24/7 live music and performance. All of this is still very much up in the air and subject to change, and the exciting part is that anybody who joins the discussion can help shape what eventually happens.

Are you excited now too? Here's what you can do:

1. The public is just days away from electing a BORG2 Art Council (nine individuals) and a Guest Curator (one art collective). The Guest Curator is in charge of rounding up new artists, projects and general interest. The Art Council is in charge of receiving art proposals and then putting them up for a public vote. The public will then make the final decision on which art projects get BORG2 funding. This is radically different from the way the larger Burning Man bureaucracy/autocracy funds art and chooses its placement.
All you need to do to register to vote is to sign up to this mailing list:
http://saucer.spaceship.com/mailman/listinfo/bep
Election Day is next Tuesday, January 18th, and yes, there will be mechanisms in place to prevent people from stuffing the ballot box with multiple email aliases.
I urge you to read up on the candidates and their platforms here:
http://www.borg2.org/ArtCouncil.html
and here:
http://www.borg2.org/GuestCurator.html
and then go vote!

2. BORG2 is trying to raise $250,000 to fund better art on the playa. This is the money that will be handed out by the Art Council to fund art projects approved by the pubilc. If you have the resources, make a donation at http://www.BORG2.org/Donate.html for more art at Burning Man.

3. If you belong to a theme camp or village that is excited by BORG2's ideas, encourage them to consider moving to the BORG2 art zone. Get a dialogue going between BORG2 and your camp/village.

4. If ideas and brainstorming are your thing, join the ongoing BORG2 discussions at http://borg2.tribe.net .

5. Volunteer for the Burning Bacon Fundraiser Feb. 5 (see below)

For more info, I've included a copy of the latest BORG2 Bullhorn, the official newsletter of BORG2, below.

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to register to vote on January 18th!

Finally excited about Burning Man again!
E

Closure

A letter I sent to W on this night. Our attempt at closure was not successful.

W,

You sent me an email tonight asking if I thought I had closure.
It’s pretty obvious to me that we do not have closure yet, at least not a healthy one.
Closure means ending on a positive note.
Closure means we have achieved what we have both expressed a desire for – that we have become friends.
Closure does not mean simply shutting down communication, or at least not doing so in a negative way.
I don’t like having enemies, and I don’t like feeling that we are on bad terms.
I never ended on bad terms with ANY of me exes, except for Vitamin C, and a girl I dated when I was 16. And I don’t intent to be on bad terms with you.
I extend the olive branch to you once again.


Love Always,
E

P.S. After I wrote the above letter, I did a Google search for the words “relationship” and “closure”. This was the top entry:
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/closure.asp
I agree with it.